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domestic, housewife
As I'm not sure that anyone else will read this I feel relatively safe in returning to a place that was once my absolute solace.

I left LJ for a long time hoping that part of my life could just be left behind. I realized after Ollie passed away how much of my life I was wasting. How few of my dreams I had pursued. In the end, while I enjoy my life, while I am content with the things in it, in the end I've fallen back into what has been comfortable. My life is comfortable. My ever-widening ass, more so.

This past year Devon and I took some time to step away from faire. Our group of friends and family have suffered more deaths and illness. Work has had it's roller coaster moments. But we're still standing.

And even though we're stepping lightly back into Dickens Fair, and I've effectively traded photo shoots for gin and tonics and ukuleles, there are still more dreams to barrel through and hopefully not entirely demolish.

I'm tipping headlong toward my 30th year. And I'm still picking at dreams. Amazing. I also still sleep with a stuffed cow. True confession.

I think what I really want is to be wrong. I want to really make it through 30, sail past 31 and prance gracefully on 8" heels through the rest of my 30s. I want to see 31 and be able to say that everything I thought about my life would be wrong. To know I had more time. To know that I haven't wasted my chances to do everything worthwhile.

I'm writing again. Not just here, but truly writing. And hopefully it'll see the light of day. But for now, it feels right.

Rest well, my friend.


From Ollie's blog...

Thursday, December 11, 2008
thinking out loud.
Rest in Peace, Bettie Page.
As a kid and huge comic book fan growin up in the eighties, i had no idea who Bettie Page was. I just remember these amazing illustrations by this guy named Dave Stevens, comic books about a guy with a jetpack and his girlfriend, Bettie. I remember finding out that this comic book ideal was based on a real person, a real pinup legend, in fact. I remember her being this huge underground secret...if you knew who Bettie Page was, and you were under a certain age, it was almost a lock that you first saw her in the pages of the Rocketeer. So, unlike all these other famous models at the time, she seemed like 'our' pinup girl. Seeing her little magnets and stickers and what have you at the record store years later just affirmed what i already knew, that she was representative of something apart from the mainstream...the subcultures, the weirdos, the geeks...and that the mainstream was finally embracing aspects of those things. I felt strangely, hey, i was there for her second coming, lol.
The story about Dave Stevens being the first person to actually take her into a Tower Records to show her a Bettie Page display, to make her realize how iconic her image had become, and how hard he fought to make sure that she got her fair share from all of that, always made me smile. Inside I'd be screaming, "see? Some comic book guy, some guy with a pen, some paper, and some imagination....."
When I got older and started seeing more and more of Bettie's was like buried treasure. The whole innocence/ sexuality dichotomy. The campiness and playfulness of her photos. A complete revelation to me.
Earlier this year, Dave passed away. His body of work was so relatively thin, that I scour bookstores and pore over the few items that I do have, wishing that an artist that good had been more prolific.
And now, months later, Bettie herself has passed. What must it have been like, I wonder, living in quiet obscurity, then to find out a whole world is in love with you, and credit you for inspiring them and setting them off on their own little journeys.
Dave Stevens and Bettie Page. Artist and muse.
I like to think that Dave was up in heaven months ago, churning out these great stories and beautiful drawings. And that somebody picked up a page and saw this angelic/devilish looking girl and asked 'heyyyy, who's this?'
"You'll find out," says Dave (in my head). "You'll find out.....but you won't be ready."

...Now, only 4 short months later, to the day of him writing this, he's passed away himself. Ollie, you were family, you were my friend, an amazing photographer, a fellow comic geek, and someone that I instantly felt at home with. You were brilliant, witty, sarcastic, and always ready with beer and some crazy movie.

Last night, Janice and I were talking about how you're probably up there putting Bettie in positions she'd never been in before. Shooting her the way only you could. Damnit, Ollie, I wish you were still around.

Apr. 14th, 2009

Ollie, please just wake up.... please?


March for Babies

My Roller Derby team is going to be doing the March of Dimes: March for Babies.


domestic, housewife
We spent today avoiding the Super Bowl. That's right, avoiding it. I suppose that's rather unamercian of us, but if you'd asked me who was playing, I would have said I thought the Cardinals were a baseball team.

So, without our kids, we went out for lunch and bumped around town a bit. We bought some cool atomic looking bathroom fixtures and odds and ends. Our last stop was this antique store downtown where I've found few fun things over the years. Today we found the below vintage bar/sideboard. We put it on layaway, as we will have to rearrange a couple things and figure out a way to get it home. But if you can imagine, without the bottles all over it, with our tiki glasses in the case. I'm so excited.

This is the year this house is finally put together. 2009- year of the home. I dig.


Dec. 29th, 2008

rangers, hockey
face off AND... RANGERS VICTORY 5-4!!!

Dec. 29th, 2008

rangers, hockey
Rangers 5-3 and with 1:38 in the game, they take the puck back to the Islanders defense line, McDonald on the bench, at 18.7 second left in the period, the Islanders score one more.

Dec. 29th, 2008

rangers, hockey
Rangers score get their 4th goal in at 12:48 in the last period on the face-off... hitting another face-off we have the Islanders lining up nice shots, with killer defense by the Rangers. In the second, the Rangers have tie at 1-1 then quickly lose ground as the Islanders steal net at the end of the period.

Rangers up 4-3 with about 6:47 minutes left of the period...

Dec. 29th, 2008

rangers, hockey
In the second, the Rangers have tie at 1-1 then quickly lose ground as the Islanders steal net at the end of the period.

Third period: Rangers wake up... tied at 3-3 with 14 minutes to go. Callahan takes the shot and McDonald blocks mid-blue. Rangers line up for the shot, Islanders steal, Gomez fires, McDonald blocks. I hope Gomez shoves it down his throat.



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